-
Website
http://www.funkybrownchick.com -
Original page
http://funkybrownchick.com/2006/07/28/the-world%e2%80%99s-worst-pickup-lines/ -
Subscribe
All Comments -
Community
-
-
Top Commenters
-
Popular Threads
All Comments
I think the worst pickup line I ever received came from this guy who sent me an online message:
"Somebody's taken too many gorgeous pills!"
We've been together for two and a half years now.
Said at the end of a great night out dancing with a guy I'd just met in a nightclub. He was the friend of a mutual friend (who vouched for him). I was so surprised and I thought it was so charming that I fell for it. I let him kiss me.
We exchanged numbers. He called me that night and pretty much every night after. We started dating and got pretty tight pretty fast. We "fell in love." Then I found out via his blog that he was drunk when he delivered said line. Then I found out that he was having a sexual relationship with a man at the same time he was dating me so it was all a (devastating) ruse anyway. Oh, and then he also claimed via his blog that he "wasn't that into me" anyway. Despite proclamations of love, a "future," etc.
Bottom line and lesson learned: Don't fall for the line. No matter how "charming" it is.
Said by some shady guy in a shady club in Windsor. Seriously, has that one ever worked for him? "Why yes, I WOULD like to get laid, shall we go the the restroom?"
In countdown order:
#2) Didn't I meet you at an AA meeting? This was asked of me in a bar. It was the 2nd gay bar I had ever been in and it was 30 miles from my hometown in S.C.
#1) Denver has an outdoor gay bar that I used to go to frequently to dance. Whilst leaving the dance floor, this very drunk guy came up to me and in an attempt to come on to me and compliment my dancing said the following: "Are you sure you aren't black?"
If the pickup line is exceptionally cheesy and bad I think it would actually work because I'd end up talking to the guy and we'd probably start exchanging bad pickup lines to see who has heard the worst one! It's the offensive ones that I dont like, like the "You're too pretty to be Sri Lankan!" one!
Me - Hey, I am a Smith are we related?
Girl - Not that I know of.
Me - Are you sure?
Girl - Yes, fairly sure.
Me - So you don't have any Smith in you?
Girl - No.
Me - Want some?
So now it is a joke between me and my friends when one of us says, "Do you have any Smith in you?"
NOTE: I was VERY drunk at the time.
Me: Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?
Cute Server: No.
Me: Enough to break the ice, hi, I'm 'Mitch'
Cute Server: (laughing) holy mother of shit - that's funny - I'm 'cute server'
Nothing came of it, but it was pretty funny, and a fun night at that...
(note: our furnace broke down in the middle of winter for a few days - not too cold outside at the time luckily but cold enough to be fairly uncomfortable)
He messaged me with: "Aw, your furnace broke down and I don't turn on the heat." (translation: I'm not there to "warm you up" or maybe it was a complaint that I am not attracted to him... either way, it put me off even more)
I haven't really had many pickup lines thrown at me and I have never tried to pick anyone up, so that's all I have (and am willing to share) for now.
Oh and that Sri Lankan comment was way over the top... and is interesting because I have several Sri Lankan friends and they are really extremely gorgeous... and I don't know why you'd say anything like that to anyone anyway.
So we're dancing and some guy comes up to me and says, "Have we met before?"
I'd only been here a week, and I of course said, "No" and walked off.
Made me laugh...
Anonymous: Okay, I sooo started reading your comment and I was going to write something like ... "I think that's adorable!! I've had a couple guys ask, 'is it okay if I kiss you?' My little heart almost melted both times. I'm such a sucker for guys who aren't afraid to admit it when they they feel vulnerable / shy / awkward. ... But then I kept reading further along in your comment and I thought, "Um, okay, that's not the turn that I thought that story was going to take." ... Wow ... um ... I guess that's all I can think to say ... "wow".
Katie: Actually, my guy friend SB out in California always says, "guys wouldn't use loser lines if there weren't loser girls out there that actually fell for those lines from time to time." So, yeah, (scary enough) somewhere in the world, there probably is a girl who answers exactly that and then heads to the bathroom with the guy. For the record ... I'm not that girl. Nor will I ever be.
Howard: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! At AA?!?! Was it a joke??? And, about the "are you sure you aren't black", two thoughts: (1) are you sure ;) and (2) that guy is an idiot.
Darwin: Hey, I like that line. I'm going to se it the next time I see a group of diverse men, "Ooooh look!!!! It's like a Rainbow of Dicks!!" ;)
AWE: Hey, you left out the good part ... what was the chick's response to your "Smith" line?
Mitch: I think the "Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?" line might fall under Darwins umbrella of cheesy lines that are so bad that they actually work.
kypris: Okay, WTF?!?! And, for the record, if you have to kind of guess what somebody's pick up line even means, it's pretty much a sure thing that it's a bad one.
La Brown Girl: YAY!!! A fellow "Brown Girl". Do you know that Boney M song? There's a brown girl in the ring ... tra, la, la, la, la ... a brown girl in the ring ..." No? Um, okay. :) But, yeah, I'm not a fan of the "Have we met before?" line. Ooh, ooh, ooh, this reminds me ... I forgot one of the really bad ones ... I'm at a grocery story in LA. This guy walks up to me and says, "Do you come here often?" I'm confused so I say, "What? Like, you mean the grocery store? Do I come here often?" He just smiles and says, "um, yeah ... get it ... come here often?" It was so pathetic that I just walked away.
lala: That's kind of cute. I probably would have fallen for that one. (If the guy was hot.)
Male 20something customer to cute female 20something employee: "You look like you're on top of all this stuff. Have you worked here long?"
Cute female 20something employee: Silence
But the very lamest pick-up line I ever heard was from a guy at American Trash on the UES about 13 years ago... Now I like self-depricating humor, and I like humility in a guy, but this dude is trying to pick me up, realises that I'm not interested and then throws out
"...well, I know I'm no Michael J. Fox, or nothin' but..."
I have nothing against MJF, in fact, I always thought he was sort of cute. But the idea that he was the standard by which this man was measuring his machismo, well, that's just odd...don't you think?
goldennib: That's sooo true.
Howard: You did.
missbhavens: That's HILARIOUS!!!!! 'I'm no Michael J. Fox'. What was this guy thinking???
I don't know if this is the cheesiest, but it's all that came to mind:
I was at a party that was pretty boring, and decided to leave after a short while. At the door, this (cute) guy looks at me all shocked and asks - What are you doing?!
ME (surprised): 'Leaving.'
GUY : 'You can't leave!'
ME (mystified): 'Why?'
GUY: 'I wanted to hit on you later on!'
I just stared at him and then started laughing. Smalltalk ensued, a couple months of dating too.
I do have a personal worst though: 'Are you from Brazil?' - Lemme think - NO. But that's a whole different story...
That's a nice color on you. I'd like to see it off of you.
Worse:
It was delivered by a coworker.
Pegs: Oh my dear, sweet, round-bellied baby Buddha above. Wow! Are you serious??? I can't believe a coworker said that ... People never cease to amaze me.
1 - I'm from Armagh...how big are your tits?
2 - All I've ever wanted is to settle down and have children.(this was said as he looked into my eyes and followed up by how his ex aborted his baby. I was slightly scared)
#2. Okay, that's like really sad and depressing. Such a turn-off! :(