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If they are referring to coitus and coitus only, I think it does a disservice to bandcamp experiences everywhere. Are the women counting that experimental saphic romp in college?
I definately agree with you that women are more inclined to lie about their experiences, as to avoid being viewed as slutty. Whereas men will use their sluttiness as a badge of honor. Which I totally disagree with. I've had sex with more than twenty women. I don't know the exact number, because I really don't feel it necesary to count. However, if you ask me how many meaningful relationships, or how many times I've had my heart broken, I find that to be a far more important issue.
Oops, said too much.
Women are clearly WAY more promiscuous than men, because y'all have way more opportunities to get loose than men do.
A chick could be *BUSTED* and STILL have a bunch of guys that would be willing to hit it. OTOH, guys have to meet way higher standards and jump through more hoops.
Except for the top dogs, guys have to plan, plot and scheme in order to get laid. Chicks just have to walk outside.
Furthermore, men usually can have sex with a woman and leave it as just a physical event. Women usually form a strong emotional connection to the sexual act. Therefore, a woman who has a large number of sexual partners if often assumed to be overriding this emotional bond and thereby acting "unnatural". Quite a few men would see such a woman as "damaged goods" and avoid making any long term commitments to her. However, they would probably use them for sex.
Honestly, I would imagine that the guy who took part in your threesome may have felt the same way. He probably wouldn't date you or the other woman who took part in your menage, but he would probably have another threesome with you. Have you talked with him since the "event"?
Anyway, I think that is why most women under-count their number of sexual partners. Having a high number often puts them out of the running for the men they want to date. Of course, many men don't care, but I think a lot of men would not marry a woman who had 100 partners. However, I think many women wouldn't mind marrying a man who had 100 partners.
Men do inflate the #s. I was with a guy who told me he was with 14 girls and he was 22 at the time. I am inclined to believe him.
Point is nowadays woman have more sex partners than before or just as much as men.
I don't why, I think I take News like stance on the Promiscuity thing: You hear more about men, but it doesn't mean that women aren't doing it more. :)
Not lying on my dick, sorry.
well.... dig this..... somewhere... somebody is keeping score 2.....
tryin' to stay sane...
is kinda like tippin'
thru a mine field....
going one step at a time....
and tryin' to keep from cryin'
whoa.... what a chill to the brain
and by the way.... Deeper the headache... deeper the pill
if it's all the way live..... enjoy the thrill....
keep it straight... no chaser
if.. it's right... no games and no frames
and you just might enjoy the ride
for... it's a joy .... when 2 becomes one
with ... nothing to hide.....
lamesabassman......... it's Saturday nite..... be cool ... roll it like ya' stole it...
Alicia
http://todaystyle.today.com/
So when y'all think you're getting over by saying you messed with a couple of dudes, we let y'all slide as if we believe you and then take proper defensive measures against STDs.....
Including ABSTINENCE when a chick's way too out there for the odds to be good of a guy coming out of there healthy. :)
who wants to pay for the meal......
show me one who does'nt.... and I'll show you 19 that will......
and ... how do you spell relief......
lamesabassman......" everybody's got something to hide...
'cept 4 me and my monkey... "
so i don't doubt the numbers, tho i imagine they were in some particular demographic that may not be representative.
i know many people who are monogamous for many years at a time (mostly my relatives).
and certainly, what counts as sex anyway?
If you lived in Utah, you might be one of several wives, and that would be NORMAL to you, and you'd like it like that. So let's not go assuming that what you're used to is status quo and anything else is on the fringe.
Having said that, you bring up an excellent point and IMO one of the major reasons for differences between what some men and women consider to be sex, and thus differences in reporting.
For instance, if a guy "feels a chick up", that might be foreplay to him, but if she gets off from it, that might be sex to her. Similarly, for people that believe as you do (and there's nothing wrong with that) that a qualifier for sex is involvement in a relationship, any sex they happen to have OUTSIDE of a relationship isn't counted by them as sex.
I'm sure you're aware of the cheating and divorce rates among "normal" people. :D
@ dkzone: You asked, "Do any of the women consider oral sex as sex in this study?" I wouldn't included "oral sex only" folks in with my numbers in if I actually keep track of that stuff. I have oral sex for YEARS before having vaginal sex, and I still considered myself a virgin.
@ Baba Doodlius: You're hilarious, and that's why we love you. :) If we count sex toys ...
@ Phoena: There's ALWAYS a quiz on funky brown chick. Always. :)
@ Pam: You said, "I can’t believe people even ask that kind of question." Yeah, it's surprising that people still ask that crap. But as that leggy prostitute from Pretty Woman said, "people shock the hell out of me everyday!"
@ bill c.: You mentioned, "A chick could be *BUSTED* and STILL have a bunch of guys that would be willing to hit it. OTOH, guys have to meet way higher standards and jump through more hoops." To a certain extint, I kind of agree with you. On the other hand, I think it's waaaay easier for non-attractive men to find partners than it is for non-attractive women. Women will date an ugly man if he's nice. Men won't necessarily date an ugly chick just because she's nice.
@ Brenz: You're a smart man. :)
@ Anjuan: Wow, I'm surprised you brought up the threesome again. Still thinking about that one? ;) Since you asked ... The threesome dude is in media and we see him at parties because we all hang in the same circles. The chick and I are friends, so I see her as much as I did before. The dude was her acquaintance, so she still sees and talks to him as much as she did before. I wasn't really super close with the dude so I see and talk to him the exactly same amount of time that I did before. So, the point we're exactly where we were before. This might sound wild and crazy shit, but sometimes people have sex because it's fun -- not because they expect it to lead to a relationship. None of us have any intentions of dating the other. We just had a playful night, that's all. :) By the way, you said, "Of course, many men don’t care, but I think a lot of men would not marry a woman who had 100 partners." If women are lying about their numbers, how would their husbands ever know? :) You also said, "I think many women wouldn’t mind marrying a man who had 100 partners." I wouldn't be so sure about that ...
@ Gabby: Seee, there's that magic number "4" again. :) And, yes, men (and women) are having a lot of sex! :)
@ Roddykat: I love it that most of your experiences have been about quality rather than quantity. That's beautiful! :) And, yeah, y'all bring up GREAT points about oral.
@ lamesabassman: :)
@ Alicia: VERY good point!!!!!!!!!
@ bill: Ewww. :( Whoa, I'm soooo not liking the more sex partners = higher possibility of STD/STI nor the fact that a guy would consider it "take proper defensive measures" to use protection with a woman who's have just as many partners as he had. To the first point, getting an STI is likely playing the lottery. I've never had one and I've been sexually active for years. Yet, there are people who contract things on their first time. To the second point ... Wouldn't you agree that both/all partners are "protecting" their sexual health rather than "defending" against a imagined "offending" partner? BTW, GREAT observations/comments about Fran's use of the word "normal." Speaking of which ....
@ fran: Oh gaaaaawd!!! Funny that you say "Y'ALL" when refering to people who read sex blogs considering, um, you had to be reading this blog to leave your comment. :)
As far as STDs being like the lottery, hahaha :D Have you ever been to a bodega where people are trying to WIN the lottery or HIT Lotto? You see what they do, right?... Buy A Lot Of Tickets! :D hahaha.. To be fair, you can screw as many people as you want as long as they all have integrity and wouldn't put your health at risk. If they have something, they'll tell you and you can skip the action or take your chances.
Also, I think "the lottery" is too high odds to be a good analogy for STDs. If we use your example, then it's true... You're no more likely to win the lottery by purchasing 2 tickets or 100. When you bring the odds way down, where I believe they actually are (but have no stats or evidence to support), then the cumulative effect of multiple partners definitely plays a part in increasing the odds of catching something. If you flip a coin 50 times, it might come up tails 49 of them, but, as you mentioned and as is true... all you need is that ONE TIME that it comes up heads. :)
Tina
Safe(r) sex 4eva.
Then they spoke to a stripper who has had sex with only one person. Go figure!
...and my Mom says it's a crazy crazy world!
- John Oszajca
for that's when the script.... flips.......
lamesabassman...... " and all the squares go home..... "